Letters of Ignorance

  I will send what is necessary my friend. You may not see this as necessary, but I do. Sarah is lost and does not know what she needs…or wants. I know here…I know her better than anyone. I’ll take the words that you have said here and remember them sacredly…a memoir of sorts in the back of my mind. But let me tell you, I think that I have finally come to the realization that this is what needs to happen. I will send a letter saying everything that I feel, and then I shall pack my bags and go to her.  You may say that this all sounds ridiculous, but it is not. I have seen the great mountains in the sky turn toward me and tell me, “Who are you? Shouldn’t you know who you are?” These great mountains have threatened to burn like a volcano, bursting through the open air and congregating my mind with past blessings, leaving me to rot in what is happening now. Take my word for it, John, I know what I’m doing. Love is a fickle thing, and it shall remain so forever in time.  But ...

      I greatly urge you not to send another letter to Sarah. Mark, I understand what you're saying here, but you must understand that there is something going on outside of how you feel. Of course there is always a possibility for things to turn your way, but these thoughts should be set aside and forgotten. If you are meant to be with Sarah, then it shall happen. Do not make it that you are the reason she leaves her husband. Even exercising that thought is a sign that you are thinking of strategies that are not healthy for you or for her. With that, for the sake of you and her, I advise just leaving her be. If you were just sending you letters to see how she's doing, then this would be okay, but you are doing something more than that. Maybe revisit your relationship with her in the future but clearly you are not in the state to send letters like that.     And I know you, Mark. Do not disregard this letter and do what you want to do. You have sent people into a...

     Hey Sarah! It's great to hear from you! Haven't seen you guys since Christmas. This is an interesting situation you have here, to say the least. I remember you having mentioned Mark in the past, just in reference to some stories. What I remember when you talked about him is that the two of you were close, and at one time very close. I for one still talk to some ex-lovers of mine, but just as friends, specifically only as friends on social media. Considering you are married, there may be some room to be cautious. Now, it doesn't seem like this first letter he sent you is too bad, as you are hinting at a possible second letter that could come that could very well be worse. Take it from me and do not let your husband know that he sent you any letters until you see at least what a second letter could say.     If you've responded to this first letter, and your husband finds out, it shouldn't be too bad, just tell him it's Mark, as I'm sure he knows who he is...

      I got a letter from Mark in the mail last week. It was very odd, as I haven't heard from him in a while. I'm not completely upset that I got a letter from him, we have been friends since we were kids. But it just feels odd. It feels odd in the sense that...that it's like he's from another life. There's a feeling I get when I think about him, a feeling that I can only sense in a past tense. The thought of him brings back an aroma of youth that I have moved past now. I have a husband and a baby on the way. That is my life now. And in years down the line, my life will be different then too. But the problem is, I kind of want to see what's going on in Mark's life. But at the same time, it might be safer to just leave him alone.     If I know anything about Mark is that he is persistent. In high school, there was this girl that he met at Prom. She was literally with a guy, but he went and talked to her most of the night anyway. Then, as school went on, he c...

     Hey John, thanks for reaching back out. I'm sorry that happened you man with that girl, that really sucks. I see what you're saying about letting go of this idea that I should be with Sarah. But something I just can't get out of my head is...what if I am supposed to be with Sarah? I mean, life can play odd tricks of the light sometimes, weaving in and out unexpectedly. I know that my mom and dad had known each and dated, then split apart, then found each other again later in life and married. in that case, they were meant to be together. I know, I know...it sounds absurd to believe that I could still be with Sarah. She's got a whole life beyond me now...she's got a kid on the way, a husband...I wouldn't want to ruin that for her. I just...I've got this feeling that I can't let go. It's not a knowing of the belief that I should be with her, but a knowing of the fact that I feel I should be with her. I know that this is what I believe. But whether...

      It's great to hear from you Mark! It really has been too long. I totally remember you dancing with Genie, that was so great, we all thought the two of you were really hitting it off. It's too bad she ran off with some dude she met online. Also, Brad was definitely a Deutsche in high school, but he's treated Lydia really well. They're actually expecting their first born, it'll be a boy. I told her to name him after me but I doubt that'll happen. Poor old Uncle Johnny...it's okay I'll nickname him after me.     I'm sorry you've been feeling this way lately. God knows I've felt this way many times. In fact, I felt like this quite recently. It was a girl that I went out on a date with, and we spent the weekend together having such a great time. I mean, when I said we had a great time, I had never felt like this with any girl before. It was like the two of us were pieces of yarn that were cut from the same ball. I understood the tie we had t...

      Hey John, I hope you're doing well. The last time we talked felt like it was forever ago. It may have been at your sister's wedding. I remember being there and telling the DJ to play "Save The Last Dance For Me" and then I danced with Genie, the girl I thought I was in love with in high school. Ha, it's crazy how things turn out. Now she and your sister are like best friends. I still can't believe your sister married Brad, what an absolute Deutschebag.      But anyway, I'm writing to tell you that I reached out to Sarah. I know, I know, we had already talked about this and I shouldn't reach out to her...but I've just been thinking about her lately. You know how sometimes there are moments in life when you just have that feeling of remorse for something you can't quite define? I wake up in the mornings feeling sad...for no reason it seems like. But this hasn't always been the case. It's just been happening since I started thinking ...

      Mark     I'm happy to hear from you, it has been far too long. I am married now and have a baby on the way. A girl. I don't want us to forget each other as well, but I cannot receive a letter like you've just sent again. I know that we had our time as lovers, two whimsical know-it-alls who wanted to move to Ohio, for whatever reason, and plant pine trees so that Christmas could be all year round. Oh gosh, what were we thinking? I live in Florida now, near the rest of my family. I wish you could see this house we have. It is everything we had talked about, grandiose yet frugal on the outside.      Mark, you should come meet my family some time. I'd love to introduce you to my husband, Aidan. He's a little like you; very gentle, caring, and loves loves loves watching science fiction movies. My goodness, my daughter will already know every line in Star Wars by the time she's born.      But don't ever think that I've forgotten you...

      I woke up this morning remembering you. Do you remember when we played out in the woods as kids? It was so much fun. I remember building a fort in the creek behind the neighborhood. Once we got yelled at by an old lady because she didn't like to hear us play back there and apparently we disturbed her dog. How are you? It's been so long. I hope that you've gone on to great things after college and got that house you wanted in Ohio. That house I remember because it was tied to my uncle up there. He had built it and you loved that he had built it.      I don't know why we haven't talked in so long. It seems like just yesterday we were talking about moving together, possibly finally going on that date that we kept putting off. Your eyes fluttered every time I mentioned it and you would always look at me with such friendliness. This is what it felt like to be with you. I wish we'd go back together now, I really do. I'm sorry if this went on forever, but I ...